Tuesday June 22, 2010 Writings

It is my last day of subbing at Watkins Glen High for the 2009-2010 school year.

I don't know what else to say... I survived 4 weeks, and 2 days.

I have just found a website full of journal prompts. I have, someday - at some point... a lot personal writings to go through, reflect on, and possibly edit more clearly! I just think sometimes a prompt helps get you out of the same 'ole, same old.

Today's prompt: What do you long for most right now? Do you think that you have a good chance of getting what you really want?

- Being around dear friends I miss all over!

- To date someone wonderful

- To go back to school or find a steady job that I enjoy...

- To find a good way to balance work, play, among the many diverse interests of mine.

- World travel

Do I have a good chance at getting what I really want?

I believe, first off... the easiest one of the five bullets to work on is, to find a good way to balance work, play-social life, and tap into the diverse interests of mine. I suppose classifying this as the easiest to be done, is impart to my interests on reading, and research, as well as being low on the price tag scheme of things. I see working on this as coming and growing with life experience and knowledge versus living a materialistic life, or putting an emphasis on materialistic things. I don't believe every thing is cheap out there, or in history class we have learned... there is no such thing as a free lunch but to aim to work along the budget I have smart and effectively is the best I can do.

Love... what is love? Happiness... Singleness. Matters of the heart - a very touchy subject for me, but the longing to date someone wonderful is always there. I am a christian who is also currently struggling with sexuality. I can be seen as living an alternative lifestyle, but wait a minute! If I'm not actively dating the same-sex, or whatever , am I meant to get labeled? I believe in a loving God who loves all people. It is your choice, belief system that you may choose... It could be that you reject ever-lasting love. I would like to be loved for who I am, express my love towards a male or female, be one in faith with Christianity, as well as loving thy mother and father, because they are all I have besides my faith in the Lord, God Almighty.

It would be nice to find a steady job. I have been fortunate to have performed, teach dance, choreograph musicals, and substitute teach in the public school system in which have been my work life for the past year. I have gained much insight, knowledge, and experiences to take with me as I propel forward with life! I have thought about going back to school briefly here and there... I just need to get some money under my belt for that plan to blossom.

I miss many different people throughout my life now... people from high school, college, dance programs, and such. My friends are important to me, although currently I am struggling with keeping in touch the best possible way, and sustaining good relationships. The social networking site, Facebook, does help but where is a simple phone call these days? Is a phone conversation going out of style, like hand-written letters? I have called some individuals 3 to 5 times with no answer. I have done my part reaching out... it's quite discouraging going down a list of say, 5 friends and nothing comes up... taking the time to call loved ones. As well with keeping in touch, I wish I had the financial means to travel to visit friends in Pittsburgh, Florida, New York City, and California, among other spots in this world of ours. My family and friends are very important to me.

Lastly, but not least... I would love to travel around the world. Having been born in Asuncion, Paraguay... I have always thought, internally felt having a worldly view throughout life. This past January, I traveled abroad for the first time to the Southern Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. I went on a mission trip through the Geneva Presbytery. I saw, and witnessed the beauty, the people, and culture of Mexico you never see in the media. I would like to visit the homeland of Paraguay someday! I have always wanted to do the trip with my immediate family but that seems unlikely. When I am ready, and all in seriousness in wanting to take the trip... I'd love to take a friend who's close to me and fluent in the Spanish language. Other countries I am interested in visiting include: Argentina, Brazil, India, Portugal, Spain, and France. Someday... when I have the finances... I long to travel!

Well, I covered 5 things that I long for... right now? Perhaps, or soon in the near future. These five points I brainstormed right away. I prioritized them to cover the specifics by the cost/financial factors from least to most costly means. I am alright with what money I do have, but at the same time I know I am not in a good financial standing. I attempt to be smart in decisions when it comes to the budget I am living within.

Do you think you have a good chance at getting what you really want? With time, work, and life experiences... why not? But for right now, let me... let us enjoy Summer 2010!

Freelance...

How or where to begin...

Well it is just after 8pm on Tuesday evening, June 15th, 2010. For the past three weeks, I've been a long-term sub; well 4 weeks is long term for me! I've been substituting at Watkins Glen High for a teacher's assistant, who works with Special Ed. students. Now I am just proctoring Regents exams and helping other teachers with tedious end of the year tasks to lighten their load. I never imagined subbing a lot this past year in the High School and seeing the Class of 2010 on their way out into the Real World. It was just five years ago, I did the same. I don't like to say being equal to but it's been quite the trip working along side my former high school teachers in which have been co-workers of my parents, and which I'd like to call "extended family".

This past Sunday was the 64th annual American Theater Wing's TONY Awards, celebrating the Best of the Best of Live Theater. As many would say, maybe this season or just the awards show was quite distasteful. I am not an expert to say but maybe it was an Off season for NY Theater. There's a breed of new faces with new, and revived works of course. I would go on, and on about specifics but I can't quite seem to put the words together as I see fit, and that would make sense!

I am listening to the New Broadway cast recording of Stephen Sondheim's, A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC.

This freelance is not going anywhere... work, and theater! Well, speaking of work and theater, I do have some projects to be working on! I will be staging a community theater production of Gilbert & Sullivan's PIRATES of PENZANCE, and I will be choreographing the musical, FOOTLOOSE for a local high school.

Tuesday morning writings...

We're Twelve Feet In The Air!

I feel so high...
I want to smile, cheek to cheek!

People would question why...

Because I'm in love... with another guy is crazy, unheard of...
Nothing you talk about in this small town of ours.

I feel so good though! I wish I could announce it to the world...

12 feet high


BLAZY Blah-Blah!

This morning I left the house at a reasonable time. My car started up well. I really didn't forget anything...

Surprisingly, I had a great start to the day.

This is just to say?

I have been doing a lot of subbing in a local high school recently, and have sat in on some english classes covering poetry. One poem we covered was 'This is just to say' by William Carlos Williams. You can read that poem in the link posted below.

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15535

One assignment the students had was to write a poem in the style, format based on this honest, brutally raw poem that expresses being incosiderate. It is a poem I find myself reading over and over again. You can substitute the plums with basically anything. Personally, beer seems more along my interest.

I took a jab at taking on the assignment myself. Here is how my attempt - whether a pass or fail, turned out.


KUHAR (written 5/28/2010)

I thought I was in love with you.

And you could have been overjoyed; happy with that.

Please forgive me, although you knew... Love can exist between two people. It was only lust... with you.

*My poem based on 'This is just to say' by William Carlos Williams.


Writing comes easy to me at the most random times. Yesterday, I wrote a statement where I didn't even attempt to mimic anything but here was free verse that ended up sounding like the tone/style that William Carlos Williams was in.

It sucks I have to be here...
and you, there.

I ask myself nearly every day,
was it love?

Twenty-Four

Twenty - Four stands so tall.

Just write it... a two, and a four.

Sometimes you just want to push it down. Well, maybe not the two.

Twenty-Three was a bit painful to me.

Twenty-Four isn't that bad - just in between... odd. (Even, I mean!)

Twenty-Five is... old; to become.