Dad has been on my mind this morning.
It is Black Jack's 12th Birthday. He's been a joy of the family!
I can't believe the Fall season is kicking in with September here already. It is definitely going to be a sensitive season for me, as I can recount vividly my father's declining health. Without working at the time... spent most days with his loud, bold presence. I remember writing a lot too, in which I can dig up somewhere and look back on.
I am finishing up CHICKEN SOUP: Think Positive book. The last section has been Gratitude stories... Boy do I have a lot to be thankful for! It seems to be never ending. I live a life full of blessings!
I wish I could write more but then I know my words and thoughts would get disjointed and I'd be rambling at this time.
Here is a quote I came across today that I would like to finish with:
"Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." Lao Tzu
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Friday, September 2, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
So it goes... 25
The birth month has six more days left... I am 25 years of age, writing on the 25th!
What do I make of being a quarter-of-a-century? I'm just going through the motions... not sure what to think of everything as my father's death is still so recent. It's been hard when it comes to birthdays... As Brittany celebrated her 29th in January, we celebrated with family friends. If I thought it was hard to be in good spirits, not sure how Brittany felt when she was blowing out the candle's on the cake without Dad's presence.
One thing I observed or took notice of was that the day before the birthday... you have so much hope, and wait in anticipation of your day, and a new year to begin! The day itself is, well what you make of it as any other day. The day before you celebrate, I feel is more exciting!
This month of March has treated me well thus far...
I worked on the musical at Elmira Free Academy. The performances were earlier this month. The students presented 'Footloose' as I provided the choreography for the show. I thoroughly love working on musicals and to be able to share my love and passion for the arts with others. I perform predominately Ballet within the dance concert settings. When I choreograph shows though, there is a portion of me in my work. The hard part to handle is the "letting go" process as production time arrives! Each night a cast performs , of course their nerves and adrenalin are high... mine as well! I love this time in my artistic life where I can still actively perform, and be a part of the creative process.
Sometimes I feel unhappy with where I am in life, with little accomplishments but I am truly blessed with the opportunities I've been given. I am still learning and growing from them.
With working in Elmira since January, I took a break from ballet classes and rehearsals. I just completed two weeks of some classes and rehearsals for 'Sleeping Beauty', the three-act ballet which will be presented by The Ithaca Ballet Company, April 30th-May 1st. I am performing the "Bluebird" Pas de deux, Variation, and Coda with Rosie, a dancer whom I've been working with throughout the season. The first week back was not so smooth, and learning the role was taxing on the mind and body... but I hadn't been in dancer mode for some time. This past week was a pivotal one. I feel much better on how things are going with rehearsals, and getting back into the regiment of taking classes. We have five weeks till performance time.
I'm not all to sure what to think about on the weather. We've had a very snowy start to Spring. As people are not all too thrilled with mother nature, I am thankful that this is a snowy March, and not April. Although, I do remember on one account... spending a weekend in NYC, April 2000 and waking up to a snowy manhattan. No, No, No!!
Another thing, on the topic - number 25... One of my favorite musicals has celebrated it's 25th anniversary in London, Bloublil, and Schonberg's 'Les Miserables'. One very neat fact, and furthers my love for this theater piece is that the show opened on Broadway, March 12, 1987. I am a '86 baby, but that's the birth day!
As April approaches... I am pretty sure my mother, Brit, and I will a bit emotional in our daily lives - as death of a loved one brings. April is my father's birth month. We miss him very much!!
What do I make of being a quarter-of-a-century? I'm just going through the motions... not sure what to think of everything as my father's death is still so recent. It's been hard when it comes to birthdays... As Brittany celebrated her 29th in January, we celebrated with family friends. If I thought it was hard to be in good spirits, not sure how Brittany felt when she was blowing out the candle's on the cake without Dad's presence.
One thing I observed or took notice of was that the day before the birthday... you have so much hope, and wait in anticipation of your day, and a new year to begin! The day itself is, well what you make of it as any other day. The day before you celebrate, I feel is more exciting!
This month of March has treated me well thus far...
I worked on the musical at Elmira Free Academy. The performances were earlier this month. The students presented 'Footloose' as I provided the choreography for the show. I thoroughly love working on musicals and to be able to share my love and passion for the arts with others. I perform predominately Ballet within the dance concert settings. When I choreograph shows though, there is a portion of me in my work. The hard part to handle is the "letting go" process as production time arrives! Each night a cast performs , of course their nerves and adrenalin are high... mine as well! I love this time in my artistic life where I can still actively perform, and be a part of the creative process.
Sometimes I feel unhappy with where I am in life, with little accomplishments but I am truly blessed with the opportunities I've been given. I am still learning and growing from them.
With working in Elmira since January, I took a break from ballet classes and rehearsals. I just completed two weeks of some classes and rehearsals for 'Sleeping Beauty', the three-act ballet which will be presented by The Ithaca Ballet Company, April 30th-May 1st. I am performing the "Bluebird" Pas de deux, Variation, and Coda with Rosie, a dancer whom I've been working with throughout the season. The first week back was not so smooth, and learning the role was taxing on the mind and body... but I hadn't been in dancer mode for some time. This past week was a pivotal one. I feel much better on how things are going with rehearsals, and getting back into the regiment of taking classes. We have five weeks till performance time.
I'm not all to sure what to think about on the weather. We've had a very snowy start to Spring. As people are not all too thrilled with mother nature, I am thankful that this is a snowy March, and not April. Although, I do remember on one account... spending a weekend in NYC, April 2000 and waking up to a snowy manhattan. No, No, No!!
Another thing, on the topic - number 25... One of my favorite musicals has celebrated it's 25th anniversary in London, Bloublil, and Schonberg's 'Les Miserables'. One very neat fact, and furthers my love for this theater piece is that the show opened on Broadway, March 12, 1987. I am a '86 baby, but that's the birth day!
As April approaches... I am pretty sure my mother, Brit, and I will a bit emotional in our daily lives - as death of a loved one brings. April is my father's birth month. We miss him very much!!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Someday they will come - the right words; the words...
It is the evening of Tuesday January 4th, 2011. I am writing under the influence of coffee, the urge and needing to.
My last piece I wrote (unpublished via net) pertained to my father's death. There's so much that comes to my mind on the subject... but I'm just not ready to write about every detail that comes to mind.
With father's death just before Christmas, the anticipation of celebrating the holiday and the new year was definitely something to look forward too. The holidays went by fast, and now I feel I call this period "the long haul". It is very quiet in the home, and without Dad's presence around... his absence is kicking in. I am struggling with going out in public and finding myself with my head low. I feel I could break into tears just walking down the street of our village; walking his dog.
I find myself alone, staring where his study/desk is... asking in dead silence, "Dad, where are you?" and tear up.
_________________________________________________________________
There's so much I want to say about life and current happenings with my family which is consisting of mother, and my older sister, Brittany.
Today though, I found myself in conversation with Victor, from Tobati, Paraguay. It brings me much happiness to talk to people from my birth country. In a way that seems odd to describe other than saying the way that it is... it brings me hope. We talked about the languages, culture, soccer, and he complimented me on my knowledge of the country... in which I feel is very little, but of all countries... publications on Paraguay are a rare find. I have two books I peep into periodically.
I need to wrap up, walk Black Jack, and call it a night!
My last piece I wrote (unpublished via net) pertained to my father's death. There's so much that comes to my mind on the subject... but I'm just not ready to write about every detail that comes to mind.
With father's death just before Christmas, the anticipation of celebrating the holiday and the new year was definitely something to look forward too. The holidays went by fast, and now I feel I call this period "the long haul". It is very quiet in the home, and without Dad's presence around... his absence is kicking in. I am struggling with going out in public and finding myself with my head low. I feel I could break into tears just walking down the street of our village; walking his dog.
I find myself alone, staring where his study/desk is... asking in dead silence, "Dad, where are you?" and tear up.
_________________________________________________________________
There's so much I want to say about life and current happenings with my family which is consisting of mother, and my older sister, Brittany.
Today though, I found myself in conversation with Victor, from Tobati, Paraguay. It brings me much happiness to talk to people from my birth country. In a way that seems odd to describe other than saying the way that it is... it brings me hope. We talked about the languages, culture, soccer, and he complimented me on my knowledge of the country... in which I feel is very little, but of all countries... publications on Paraguay are a rare find. I have two books I peep into periodically.
I need to wrap up, walk Black Jack, and call it a night!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
With many thanks
I am very thankful for the Song and the Dance, the Love, and the Life I've been given and for the beautiful people in it!!
Thanksgiving day was very nice, peaceful, and relaxing. I always enjoy watching the Macy's Parade with minimal distractions, as my other family members know... I am thoroughly engaged in the broadcast!
My father, who's been sick and stationed in bed for about the last two weeks came downstairs for the thanksgiving holiday to be with Brit, Mother, and I.
Dinner was very delicious, but seeing that we were eating in the living room with Dad on the couch, and all of us using the T.V. dinner tables seemed to be low key this year. Our dinner settings were small and intimate. We have some nice photos from dinner. We were also enjoying music by Patsy Cline and other music artists Mom and Dad have enjoyed throughout the years.
I have a feeling this holiday and winter season will be a long one.
Yesterday morning, Nick stopped by... with conversations on the work force, economy, and war. Mind you, he's 91 years old, Dad's friend and in good health.
Last night, I had a personal, emotional break-melt down. Mom was there to be ever-so critical of the situation, but managed to pick me up as well. When I go through these episodes... I call them the "I don't know what I'm doing" moments. These creep up on me randomly, as they are not fun to deal with.
"You don't throw something away until you know what reality is."
Today, I woke up... went through my morning routine. I walked our dog after breakfast. I have rehearsal tonight in Geneva with the orchestra. I hope things will go smoothly. I am just not ready for this... the performances to get underway! I have a feeling that this series of Nutcracker performances are going to fly by.
I need to blog/write more... I always say that here and there!
Thanksgiving day was very nice, peaceful, and relaxing. I always enjoy watching the Macy's Parade with minimal distractions, as my other family members know... I am thoroughly engaged in the broadcast!
My father, who's been sick and stationed in bed for about the last two weeks came downstairs for the thanksgiving holiday to be with Brit, Mother, and I.
Dinner was very delicious, but seeing that we were eating in the living room with Dad on the couch, and all of us using the T.V. dinner tables seemed to be low key this year. Our dinner settings were small and intimate. We have some nice photos from dinner. We were also enjoying music by Patsy Cline and other music artists Mom and Dad have enjoyed throughout the years.
I have a feeling this holiday and winter season will be a long one.
Yesterday morning, Nick stopped by... with conversations on the work force, economy, and war. Mind you, he's 91 years old, Dad's friend and in good health.
Last night, I had a personal, emotional break-melt down. Mom was there to be ever-so critical of the situation, but managed to pick me up as well. When I go through these episodes... I call them the "I don't know what I'm doing" moments. These creep up on me randomly, as they are not fun to deal with.
"You don't throw something away until you know what reality is."
Today, I woke up... went through my morning routine. I walked our dog after breakfast. I have rehearsal tonight in Geneva with the orchestra. I hope things will go smoothly. I am just not ready for this... the performances to get underway! I have a feeling that this series of Nutcracker performances are going to fly by.
I need to blog/write more... I always say that here and there!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)