Sunday, March 15, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The tears of Tuesday
I'm on my bed rocking back and forth with my laptop... well on 'da lap.
Shedding the most subtle tears listening to this music via itunes.
The music I feel that defines me but I don't know any more... or my music taste is so complex that ... that means I'm so complex.
As I fiddle my hand through my hair I wish someone was beside me to rub my back, comfort me, but there hasn't been anyone and I fear there will be no one. Ever.
I still rock back and forth, thinking it's just the natural thing to do --- as seen from TV, movies, and shows. So I'm not sure if people of the human condition really do this when they are upset or just so confused like myself.
My tears have dryed up.
I've slept all morning and now it's 2:30pm
I don't think Neil has been around.
Shedding the most subtle tears listening to this music via itunes.
The music I feel that defines me but I don't know any more... or my music taste is so complex that ... that means I'm so complex.
As I fiddle my hand through my hair I wish someone was beside me to rub my back, comfort me, but there hasn't been anyone and I fear there will be no one. Ever.
I still rock back and forth, thinking it's just the natural thing to do --- as seen from TV, movies, and shows. So I'm not sure if people of the human condition really do this when they are upset or just so confused like myself.
My tears have dryed up.
I've slept all morning and now it's 2:30pm
I don't think Neil has been around.
No Neil; No One But myself
Dear Insomnia:
"Why is this happening right now, Why does this happen?"
Have I said this 10 times already? I'm furious ---
and burning with desire wanting to know what's my fucking problem.
I'm tempted to throw things.
I can't seem to shed a tear or tears when I know I want to.
Pacing back and forth I will never get rest.
GAH!
The nights - I'm oh, so ... used to.
I HATE you!
Restless,
T.
"Why is this happening right now, Why does this happen?"
Have I said this 10 times already? I'm furious ---
and burning with desire wanting to know what's my fucking problem.
I'm tempted to throw things.
I can't seem to shed a tear or tears when I know I want to.
Pacing back and forth I will never get rest.
GAH!
The nights - I'm oh, so ... used to.
I HATE you!
Restless,
T.
A Follow Up... or fucked up.
I begin to formulate an idea. I stop.
I get confused quite easily, or flustered.
What is right or wrong?
To whom does it matter... family, friends, society, GOD?
Where is true happiness and is it attainable?
What is Love? Is is something you search for, or something you experience?
Pain is... struggling with the devil himself... or caused by a higher being whom you choose to believe in or not.
That's life...
I guess.
I get confused quite easily, or flustered.
What is right or wrong?
To whom does it matter... family, friends, society, GOD?
Where is true happiness and is it attainable?
What is Love? Is is something you search for, or something you experience?
Pain is... struggling with the devil himself... or caused by a higher being whom you choose to believe in or not.
That's life...
I guess.
Just before the 23rd B...
My pain is so deep that my love for life seems too superficial.
Am I going through this struggle of many struggles alone, or is there truly someone out there who is my soul mate, and has or is experiencing the exact same thing? I have so many questions unanswered with many barriers to break down. I just don't know where to begin...
Am I going through this struggle of many struggles alone, or is there truly someone out there who is my soul mate, and has or is experiencing the exact same thing? I have so many questions unanswered with many barriers to break down. I just don't know where to begin...
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