Yesterday seemed to be one of those "dark" days. After taking a shower around 10:15am, I had fallen into a spell of depression. I think people respond to depression in various ways, as after I cleansed myself up I fell back into bed. I struggled with getting myself back up and in gear. It was just after 1pm when I finally got up and moving.
Mother says the choices I am making furthers me into depression. Also, I think it is partially due or a lot to due with the grieving period, being unemployed, and struggling with figuring out what I should be doing with my life. Inactivity kicks in too... I need to find more productive, and meaningful activities to do to keep me busy.
In the afternoon, as I was reading the newspaper the "Dear Abby" section caught my attention. In our newspaper today, it is not "Abby" anymore. It is "Annie" and "Amy". The two passages seemed to resonate with some of my current situations. In Annie's mailbox, a wife writes about her husband, who's in his 30's and is having trouble with deciding on a career path. He is afraid of failure, and is heavily influence on his family values; his mother's input. A father writes in to Amy in regards to the living arrangements he and his wife has offered to their 23-year old son. I am just two years older than the recent college graduate, living at home with difficulty on the career path scheme of things. I enjoy reading other people's issues which are similar to mine, and hope to reflect, learn, and grow from them. In any situation, reading about other people's accounts can re-affirm - you are not alone.
This morning's devotional, Serve Him Today written by David McCasland also spoke to me just as strongly as yesterday's newspaper passages... just on another facet of life. I won't go into the religious passages, portions of the devotional but after having a rough start to yesterday, the devotional brought me encouragement to last me, hopefully for some time. A sentence that stuck out like a sore thumb, yet perfectly was this: 'We can't undo yesterday, but we can act today to influence tomorrow'.
1st Samuel 12, v.24 "But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you."
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, November 30, 2009
Ecstasy of The Dance
A dancer, choreographer should never sit down in a coffee shop, with some java and a book, and expect the normal joys of a coffee shop to be there... especially with tunes playing; courtesy of your ipod.
As you "seem" to be focused on reading some literature... a particular song comes up, the words on the page disappear into a large performance space, and there you are giving the best, stellar dance performance you've imagined under the heat of some bright, colorful lights.
In reality, your constrained sitting at the coffee shop... with complete strangers surrounding you. Immersed in your beautiful masterpiece - the ecstasy of the dance... you wonder. You wonder... why aren't they smiling? Why aren't these people enjoying themselves? The dance that goes through my mind, body, and soul.
I come back to reality. I can't imagine what the man or woman must be thinking across the shop from me. I don't think they can comprehend this out of body experience that dance can give me... constrained to my book, ipod and my cafe mocha. I'm afraid they can see the sweat build up as I sit, write of this experience... while I dance in my head; or out of breathe I really do feel just sitting here.
I can't imagine someone else actually relating to this ... or can I?
The Ecstasy of The Dance!
[I am still tweaking this here and there... TTL]
As you "seem" to be focused on reading some literature... a particular song comes up, the words on the page disappear into a large performance space, and there you are giving the best, stellar dance performance you've imagined under the heat of some bright, colorful lights.
In reality, your constrained sitting at the coffee shop... with complete strangers surrounding you. Immersed in your beautiful masterpiece - the ecstasy of the dance... you wonder. You wonder... why aren't they smiling? Why aren't these people enjoying themselves? The dance that goes through my mind, body, and soul.
I come back to reality. I can't imagine what the man or woman must be thinking across the shop from me. I don't think they can comprehend this out of body experience that dance can give me... constrained to my book, ipod and my cafe mocha. I'm afraid they can see the sweat build up as I sit, write of this experience... while I dance in my head; or out of breathe I really do feel just sitting here.
I can't imagine someone else actually relating to this ... or can I?
The Ecstasy of The Dance!
[I am still tweaking this here and there... TTL]
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Trying to keep up with blogging... no it's more like LIFE!
Well... all I can say is that it's been a while. My weekend was nice, and calm for the most part. I headed out to Oneonta, NY to visit my friend Enoch whom I have been talking to via the internet for six years now. It was the first time meeting him. It was also the first time taking a road trip by myself and more than a 2 hour drive. I have a feeling though under 3 hours is all my 1990 Toyota Tercel can take! Anyways... as I said all in all it was a good weekend. I am in my last week home before I head back to college for my Senior year!! Where has the time gone... lord knows! I mean he really does.
I woke up this morning around 5:45 AM... getting to bed just before 12-midnight. I don't know if it's adulthood kicking in, or that due to certain circumstances... I cannot sleep for more than 6 hours - granted I do take naps here and there throughout the day. Some would say PLENTY of naps in a given day! This morning I woke up to find my parents beat me getting up... some thinking it'd be the reverse :/. I started reading my first novel of SIX I am going to be reading during this fall semester. It's called Dreaming In Cuban by Cristina Garcia. Growing up, I wasn't fond of reading but I have fallen under the spell of what the written word can do... besides the use of worship/religious purposes, or figuring out how to do this and that, and the world news. It's a great feeling to say I can pick up a book and think to myself... I can't read that! It all comes down to basically overcoming obstacles. Speaking of obstacles, as I said I like reading and comng across words I don't know - my newfound, life vocabulary. I look up the word(s) for meaning then the next question is why did the author choose that word. It's the art form of writing , I suppose. Well since reading wasn't really my forte, I do brainstorm as much as I can before reading a novel if it's specifically about a certain time, or place... as Dreaming In Cuban clearly states. Well when I thought of Cuba initially... The dictatorship of Fidel Castro came to mind, and how recently his brother has taken over the country, I believe for the better of things! When I asked my Dad to spill out what he knew about Fidel Castro and all... he told me that one of his college roommates was from Cuba. I got all excited due to my interest in the spanish language. My dad expressed that he was only a roommate for only a month 1/2, but he fled the country under Baptista's regime. Later, my father found me reading and informed me - Castro took over Cuba on New Years Day - 1959. A simple thought of mine, regarding Cuba is that the capital is Havana or if you want to be fancy... La Habana. While reading a book... I take notes like crazy.
There was a sentence I came across in which I loved: "Pilar's eyes, Celia fears, are no longer used to the compacted light of the tropics, where a morning hour can fill a month of days in the north, which receives only careless sheddings from the sun." It was the way Garcia wrote what she wrote that just made me in awe. Is that sentence true, or could it be true in regards to being in the United States vs a country in Central or South America? My interest is because I have never been down to Central or South America since I was born - of course. Well I hope I don't desert you again, my dear blog!
Peace & Love Always!
T.
I woke up this morning around 5:45 AM... getting to bed just before 12-midnight. I don't know if it's adulthood kicking in, or that due to certain circumstances... I cannot sleep for more than 6 hours - granted I do take naps here and there throughout the day. Some would say PLENTY of naps in a given day! This morning I woke up to find my parents beat me getting up... some thinking it'd be the reverse :/. I started reading my first novel of SIX I am going to be reading during this fall semester. It's called Dreaming In Cuban by Cristina Garcia. Growing up, I wasn't fond of reading but I have fallen under the spell of what the written word can do... besides the use of worship/religious purposes, or figuring out how to do this and that, and the world news. It's a great feeling to say I can pick up a book and think to myself... I can't read that! It all comes down to basically overcoming obstacles. Speaking of obstacles, as I said I like reading and comng across words I don't know - my newfound, life vocabulary. I look up the word(s) for meaning then the next question is why did the author choose that word. It's the art form of writing , I suppose. Well since reading wasn't really my forte, I do brainstorm as much as I can before reading a novel if it's specifically about a certain time, or place... as Dreaming In Cuban clearly states. Well when I thought of Cuba initially... The dictatorship of Fidel Castro came to mind, and how recently his brother has taken over the country, I believe for the better of things! When I asked my Dad to spill out what he knew about Fidel Castro and all... he told me that one of his college roommates was from Cuba. I got all excited due to my interest in the spanish language. My dad expressed that he was only a roommate for only a month 1/2, but he fled the country under Baptista's regime. Later, my father found me reading and informed me - Castro took over Cuba on New Years Day - 1959. A simple thought of mine, regarding Cuba is that the capital is Havana or if you want to be fancy... La Habana. While reading a book... I take notes like crazy.
There was a sentence I came across in which I loved: "Pilar's eyes, Celia fears, are no longer used to the compacted light of the tropics, where a morning hour can fill a month of days in the north, which receives only careless sheddings from the sun." It was the way Garcia wrote what she wrote that just made me in awe. Is that sentence true, or could it be true in regards to being in the United States vs a country in Central or South America? My interest is because I have never been down to Central or South America since I was born - of course. Well I hope I don't desert you again, my dear blog!
Peace & Love Always!
T.
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